So the name of the much-anticipated fourth installment of the Indiana Jones movies is out, and it’s a real hum-dinger. Drum roll, please….
Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull
I am not making this up. Shia LeBeouf announced it yesterday at the MTV Video Music Awards, and unless he was just confused by Britney Spears’ performance, he was serious. George Lucas originally said he’d announce the name in November, so he has until then to come up with an excuse as to why Shia was just messing with us.
For some time now, I’ve had a sense of existential dread about the Indiana Jones film because of Lucas’ recent track record. Granted, he’s not directing this one, but his fingerprints are all over it – particularly that name. Try saying it out loud – Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull. Doesn’t exactly roll off the tongue, does it? By my count, it’s at least four syllables too long. For example, “Indiana Jones and the Crystal Kingdom” or “Indiana Jones and the Crystal Skull” each have the right number of beats when you say them. That doesn’t necessarily make them good names, though – there’s just something a little low-rent about having Indy go after something crystal in his final adventure. What ever happened to lost arks and the like?
Meanwhile, I had a chance to chat with some insiders at LucasFilm and they acknowledged that the following names were under consideration as well:
- Indiana Jones and the Phantom Menace
- Indiana Jones and the Dark Crystal
- Indiana Jones and the Secret of NIMH
- Indiana Jones and the Two Towers
- Indiana Jones and the Half-Blood Prince
- Indiana Jones and the High School Musical
- Indiana Jones and the Lost World
- Indiana Jones and the Very Last Crusade
- Indy! The Musical
But in their infinite wisdom they went with Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull. Let’s hope there’s still time for Steven Spielberg to conduct an intervention. -andy